Pepe 1 Buddy 0

The dog was going crazy. From midnight to one, he was whining at the kitchen window then dashing to the patio door, then running into the laundry room, then back to whine at the window some more. It was obvious that something was in the yard, but I wasn't letting him out to investigate or chase.

Shortly after 1:00 a.m., I opened the door and let him go. He leapt to the ground over the stairs and ran up one side of the house, then bolted to the back corner. Then down the fence to the other corner. Across the back again and around the other side of the house. His nose was to the ground and his shoulders were hunched as he tracked the uninvited visitor's steps around the yard. He sped around the perimeter 5 times before settling in the middle of the yard. He was alert and watchful, but appeared convinced that he'd have no trouble.

After about 10 minutes, I called him to come in, but he didn't budge.   Suddenly, he bolted up one side of the house. I heard an odd wail near the gate and Buddy came back to his spot in the lawn. I called him again, but he was staring between the houses. I looked but couldn't see anything.

I went out to bring him inside when he bolted up the side of the house again. Again I heard the wail and Buddy returned to his post, apparently satisfied that he'd kept it  at bay. I went back inside.

In less than a minute, he high-tailed it back up the yard to the gate. This time when he came back to the middle of the yard, he was diving into the grass, rolling around frantically and rubbing his face with his paws. He was snorting and coughing and diving and rolling.

Now he thought he should come inside.

He had to have met a skunk up at the gate, but it didn't smell like typical skunkiness. He pushed past me at the door, then dove into the carpet and rolled around frantically and rubbed his face with his paws. In the living room. In the dining room. In the hall.

I wondered if tomato juice was a valid remedy; not that it mattered, because we didn't have any. I had to get the stink-bombed Buddy out of the house so I could think. (I find it hard to be logical when I'm holding my breath that long.)
I decided that I needed to do 3 things: first neutralize the odor from the spray, then eliminate the odor, then wash it out of his fur.

I decided to try some old stand-bys.  I took vinegar (neutralize), baking soda (get rid of the smell) and soap (wash fur) out to the patio. I filled a bucket with some warm water for rinsing and took an empty bucket out for mixing.

I put a couple drops of soap into the bucket, added some vinegar and held the dog tightly before shaking in the baking soda. As the mixture erupted, I scrubbed it into the dog's fur and face. After a rinse, he smelled better, but it was still pretty bad.

I did it all again. Scrub, rinse, repeat. Around 3:15 a.m. I was done. Buddy seemed embarrassed at having been skunked.

Indoors needed some odor removal too. I sprinkled baking soda everywhere the dog had been inside. I let it soak up the smell for a bit then hauled out the vacuum to finish the job.

Yep, that was me vacuuming in the middle of the night.

Had I bothered to check online for a de-skunking remedy, I would have found EHow's instructions. Out of the list of required 'tools', we had only the cotton swabs, baking soda, dish soap, garden hose and rubber gloves.  I would need to make a 2:00 a.m. run to the store for

- Tomato Juice
- Dog Grooming Sprays
- Commercially Prepared Skunk Odor Removers
- Dog Conditioner
- 4 c. hydrogen peroxide (that's gotta hurt!)
- Dr. Bronner's Bar Soap
- Kiss My Face Shampoo and Crème Rinse
- Douche (?What? Why? Never mind, I don't want to know.)

I don't follow any recipe if it has more than 5 ingredients!
Here's poor Buddy, 12 hours post-skunking.  I swear he's frowning.

Robert Lowell's Skunk Hour
[Dog Sprayed by Skunk]
[Pepe Le Pew] [eHow.com]

Happy's Saga Continues...

The kidnapped dwarf story has been picked up by the main-stream media:
(Click photo to read article)

The online article has a different headline...good thing, because it's killing me to leave this one alone...

Proposed Law in Hamilton is Profane

Mark Nimigan, Vice-Chair of Hamilton's Police Services Board, says that cleaning up the city's downtown is a priority.
At Tuesday's board meeting, Nimigan proposed the city criminalize the use of obscene language in public.   (more...)

He argued that issuing fines to people who use profanity in public, in particular downtown and within the city's parks, would reduce the objectionable behavior.
Mr. Nimigan did not comment on issues related to enforcement of his proposal. When informed of the suggested regulation, I wouldn't have blamed Chief Mullan if he'd muttered '$#!+' before giving an official response.

Never mind that HPSB met in-camera yesterday to discuss 12 alleged sexual harassment charges faced by an officer - this proposed crackdown on cussing can only mean one thing:

the city has solved all other @*!#% problems in its universe.

The proposed Anti-Swearing Statute was the lead on the local newscast.

chapters.indigo.ca

Tags: [Swearing in Public] [Hamilton, ON]
[Hamilton Police Services Board] [Mark Nimigan] [Chief Brian Mullan]
[CHCH News] [Michelle Dubé]

Revenge on Mad Max

It's Sunday, around noon.

John puts the leash on Buddy and they set out for a long walk. Buddy's exercise and weight loss plan requires a 2 km walk each day. They walk 100 yards down to the path that runs behind the school. A woman and 3 children are walking with their dog toward John and Buddy.

John discovers that this dog's name is Max after Max pulls and breaks his leash. He runs, with teeth bared, at Buddy, jumps and starts attacking. Max's owner calls his name, but he doesn't stop.

Buddy doesn't like this new dog, Max. He tries to defend himself, but the surprise attack has put him at a disadvantage. Eventually Max is contained but not before he has removed a chunk of Buddy's ear.

We administer some first aid but can't stop the bleeding from the wound. Buddy's 2 km workout turns into a 10km drive to the Veterinary Emergency Hospital.

Once cleaned and inspected, a local anaesthetic is administered and the wound is stapled close. For the next 7 days, we need to keep him from scratching or rubbing his ears. He is fitted with an Elizabethan collar, that doesn't make him feel regal in the slightest.

Wearing the cone will prevent him from removing the staples; but it also prevents him from getting a drink, ducking under the table to get crumbs, squeezing between my legs and the cupboard.

He bumps into everything. He is afraid to go downstairs. He is afraid to go up to the landing where his bed is. Every time he bumps into something, the noise frightens him. It makes him jump, which makes him bump into something, which makes the loud, irritating noise that frightens him.

Sporting his piercings and sans collar, I took Buddy for a walk last night. Not too far, not strenuous. He was begging to go - maybe showing off his new Goth style (staples with his black toenails) would be good for his spirit. I studied all the other dogs on leashes looking for Max. Two times a dog got near and Buddy stopped and just laid down.

One meeting with Max has turned Buddy into '... a shell of a dog, a burnt out, desolate dog, a dog haunted by demons, a dog who wandered out into the wasteland. And it will be here, in this blighted place, that he learns to live again... (Taken from MadMax 2: The Road Warrior)



Once Buddy gets his spirit back, you'd better look out Max!

Photo of dog wearing Elizabethan collar from
The Fun Times Guide

Tags: [Dog Bites]   [First-Aid for Pets]
[Healing and Rejuvenation]   [Mad Max]

Must Be an ACME Product

My Dad asked me if I knew how to control problem chipmunks. My parents have an acre of beautiful gardens and ponds that is being destroyed by the out-of-control chipmunk population. They have considered calling in an animal psychologist to discover why so many of these rodents are committing suicide each night.⁺⁺ You see, each morning, my parents fish several drowned chipmunks out of the pool.

I asked around and searched the web. Many message board tips suggest using large pails of water to drown the chipmunks. Another site informs of the product Sweeney's Poison Peanuts. Toxic products may affect secondary wildlife, i.e. the animal that eats the dead chipmunk that was poisoned. Besides, I have an allergy to peanuts.

A reputable garden center gave me the real deal: Mange killed off coyotes and foxes in Ontario a couple of years ago. The species have not been able to repopulate yet to a number that can control the populations of small wildlife. The solution to my parents' problem, I was told, is to spray coyote urine all over the property. The chipmunks will think that coyotes are nearby and leave.

"Do you sell coyote urine?" I asked.
"No," the agriculturalist answered.

I told my Dad what I had learned. He didn't want to ask around for coyote urine, so I suggested a remedy that I know works to rid gardens of other invasive wildlife.

Then I found it! Coyote Urine, 2 -16 oz bottles for sale.

If that isn't crazy enough, the description states "We are very proud of our urine. I am personal friends with our supplier and know of the great care that they put into producing quality urine. I know their animals..."

The seller has a great feedback rating and he does offer insured shipping...I'm not sure what the duty charges would be... Is coyote urine a hazardous material?


Tags: [Nuisance Chipmunks] [Wildlife Control] [Coyote Urine] [ACME Products] [ebay™]
[Wile E. Coyote] [Mange]


⁺⁺ This joke used without permission or credit. Unless acknowledging that it's not my joke counts as giving credit.

Random Recommendation

I came upon a crew from Humane Wildlife Control Inc. while I was walking the dog. They were evicting squirrels from a home in the neighborhood.

The ad on the van indicated they offered control of raccoons, squirrels, bats, mice, skunks and birds. I asked the rep, who was at ground level, if they also offered service for chipmunk problems.

"No," he replied. "Coyotes control chipmunks. If you have a problem with chipmunks, you need a coyote. A fox might do it too." (I don't have a problem with chipmunks, I was asking for someone else who does.)

I checked out the triple extension ladder the crew used to get to the rooftop and it gave me an idea. "Would you be able to replace the downspout on my house?" I asked. We've needed this done since the fall. It was a job nobody wanted to do, so it was languishing on the To-Do List.

I explained that our extension ladder didn't stretch far enough for us to reach the eave where the downspout had disconnected.

Manny came to check it out. We had all the pieces of the downspout. We needed a screw to hold it together at the eave and some new strapping on the lower section. His son held the ladder and Manny reassembled the drain system and fastened it securely at the eave.

"Promise me that you'll replace the lower strapping today. If you wait, you'll end up with the same problem," he warned.
I promised it would be done.

He wouldn't even accept a cold drink for his trouble. He passed me a stack of fridge magnets to distribute and said, "If you have a problem with wildlife, make sure you call me."

Humane Wildlife Control Inc. offers service throughout Ontario and Quebec. If you have a problem with nuisance wildlife, call them.


Tags: [Wildlife Control] [SPCA]
[Humane Society] [Nuisance Wildlife]