Pepe 1 Buddy 0

The dog was going crazy. From midnight to one, he was whining at the kitchen window then dashing to the patio door, then running into the laundry room, then back to whine at the window some more. It was obvious that something was in the yard, but I wasn't letting him out to investigate or chase.

Shortly after 1:00 a.m., I opened the door and let him go. He leapt to the ground over the stairs and ran up one side of the house, then bolted to the back corner. Then down the fence to the other corner. Across the back again and around the other side of the house. His nose was to the ground and his shoulders were hunched as he tracked the uninvited visitor's steps around the yard. He sped around the perimeter 5 times before settling in the middle of the yard. He was alert and watchful, but appeared convinced that he'd have no trouble.

After about 10 minutes, I called him to come in, but he didn't budge.   Suddenly, he bolted up one side of the house. I heard an odd wail near the gate and Buddy came back to his spot in the lawn. I called him again, but he was staring between the houses. I looked but couldn't see anything.

I went out to bring him inside when he bolted up the side of the house again. Again I heard the wail and Buddy returned to his post, apparently satisfied that he'd kept it  at bay. I went back inside.

In less than a minute, he high-tailed it back up the yard to the gate. This time when he came back to the middle of the yard, he was diving into the grass, rolling around frantically and rubbing his face with his paws. He was snorting and coughing and diving and rolling.

Now he thought he should come inside.

He had to have met a skunk up at the gate, but it didn't smell like typical skunkiness. He pushed past me at the door, then dove into the carpet and rolled around frantically and rubbed his face with his paws. In the living room. In the dining room. In the hall.

I wondered if tomato juice was a valid remedy; not that it mattered, because we didn't have any. I had to get the stink-bombed Buddy out of the house so I could think. (I find it hard to be logical when I'm holding my breath that long.)
I decided that I needed to do 3 things: first neutralize the odor from the spray, then eliminate the odor, then wash it out of his fur.

I decided to try some old stand-bys.  I took vinegar (neutralize), baking soda (get rid of the smell) and soap (wash fur) out to the patio. I filled a bucket with some warm water for rinsing and took an empty bucket out for mixing.

I put a couple drops of soap into the bucket, added some vinegar and held the dog tightly before shaking in the baking soda. As the mixture erupted, I scrubbed it into the dog's fur and face. After a rinse, he smelled better, but it was still pretty bad.

I did it all again. Scrub, rinse, repeat. Around 3:15 a.m. I was done. Buddy seemed embarrassed at having been skunked.

Indoors needed some odor removal too. I sprinkled baking soda everywhere the dog had been inside. I let it soak up the smell for a bit then hauled out the vacuum to finish the job.

Yep, that was me vacuuming in the middle of the night.

Had I bothered to check online for a de-skunking remedy, I would have found EHow's instructions. Out of the list of required 'tools', we had only the cotton swabs, baking soda, dish soap, garden hose and rubber gloves.  I would need to make a 2:00 a.m. run to the store for

- Tomato Juice
- Dog Grooming Sprays
- Commercially Prepared Skunk Odor Removers
- Dog Conditioner
- 4 c. hydrogen peroxide (that's gotta hurt!)
- Dr. Bronner's Bar Soap
- Kiss My Face Shampoo and Crème Rinse
- Douche (?What? Why? Never mind, I don't want to know.)

I don't follow any recipe if it has more than 5 ingredients!
Here's poor Buddy, 12 hours post-skunking.  I swear he's frowning.

Robert Lowell's Skunk Hour
[Dog Sprayed by Skunk]
[Pepe Le Pew] [eHow.com]