Endangered Punctuation

Robert J. Samuelson's submission "The Sad Fate of the Comma" ,(Newsweek, July 23) caught my eye. Not just because of my interest in words, but because, about a month ago, I was involoved in a discussion about saving the comma from extinction.

What's wrong? You're looking at me like you've never discussed endangered punctuation around the dinner table before. Samuelson states "the comma is in retreat, though it is not yet extinct. In text messages and e-mails, commas appear infrequently, and then often by accident (someone hits the wrong key)."

I believe that the overuse of the ellipsis ( ... or dot-dot-dot) in e-mail and text messages is partly to blame for the decline of the comma. The ellipsis gets tossed around indiscriminately. At this rate, we may, one day, face an international shortage of full-stop periods - the key component in an ellipsis.

Samuelson argues that the downturn in the comma market is social commentary:

The comma is, after all, a small sign that flashes PAUSE. It tells the reader to slow down, think a bit, and then move on. We don't have time for that. No pauses allowed.

We should have seen it coming. When writing dates, one comma did the work that it takes 2 slashes to pull off. We require numbers to have 5 digits, instead of 4, before inserting a comma (13,067 : 3067). At some point, separating adjectival clauses with a comma became an elective process; but doesn't a non-restrictive clause beg for a general rule?
(When did I begin holding the semi-colon in higher regard than the comma? The comma has 4 times the number of legitimate uses as the semi-colon!)

I, for one, am vowing here, beginning with this post, to preserve commas by using them more. In e-mail, I commit to using ellipses less often. Picture a life without full-stops It would become nearly impossible to identify the end of a complete thought On the other hand, it would make interrupting much easier

Commas used: 26

Tags: [Comma] [Ellipsis] [Semi-Colon]

[Newsweek] [Robert Samuelson]

[National Punctuation Day] (September 24)

The Changing Climate of Parenting

Parenting Through the Decades

Decade	Theme	Expert	Reward	Conse- quence
1950s	Strong Values/ Firm Leadership	Dr. Benjamin Spock	Allowance	Extra chores like wash out the garbage cans
1980s	Put children first	Saul Scheidlinger	Psychotherapy	Psychotherapy
1990s	The child's sense of self	Dr. Barbara Colorosa	Spend quality time together recog- nizing the accomplishment	Reward the effort made attempting to meet expectations
2000s	Nurture Nature	Dr. David Suzuki	Select from list of ethical / green choices++	Deduct/Withhold Carbon Credits

⁺⁺ Green Choice Rewards may include:

Jewelry from natural beads	Organic cotton clothing
Clothing purchased second-hand	Eco Jeans (organic material)
Shoes with treads of recycled tires	Anything from Bono's fair-trade-focused fashion label
School bag made from recycled inner tubes

Some suggested music: Dave Matthews, Alicia Keys, Melissa Etheridge, Jack Johnson, The Beastie Boys (especially Mike D), John Legend, Ludacris, Sting, U2


Tags: [Parenting] [Dr. Spock] [Barbara Colorosa]
[David Suzuki] [Climate Change] [Carbon Credits]
[Brushfire Records] [Tibetan Freedom Concert] [Fair Trade]
[Bono] [An Inconvenient Truth]

Must Be an ACME Product

My Dad asked me if I knew how to control problem chipmunks. My parents have an acre of beautiful gardens and ponds that is being destroyed by the out-of-control chipmunk population. They have considered calling in an animal psychologist to discover why so many of these rodents are committing suicide each night.⁺⁺ You see, each morning, my parents fish several drowned chipmunks out of the pool.

I asked around and searched the web. Many message board tips suggest using large pails of water to drown the chipmunks. Another site informs of the product Sweeney's Poison Peanuts. Toxic products may affect secondary wildlife, i.e. the animal that eats the dead chipmunk that was poisoned. Besides, I have an allergy to peanuts.

A reputable garden center gave me the real deal: Mange killed off coyotes and foxes in Ontario a couple of years ago. The species have not been able to repopulate yet to a number that can control the populations of small wildlife. The solution to my parents' problem, I was told, is to spray coyote urine all over the property. The chipmunks will think that coyotes are nearby and leave.

"Do you sell coyote urine?" I asked.
"No," the agriculturalist answered.

I told my Dad what I had learned. He didn't want to ask around for coyote urine, so I suggested a remedy that I know works to rid gardens of other invasive wildlife.

Then I found it! Coyote Urine, 2 -16 oz bottles for sale.

If that isn't crazy enough, the description states "We are very proud of our urine. I am personal friends with our supplier and know of the great care that they put into producing quality urine. I know their animals..."

The seller has a great feedback rating and he does offer insured shipping...I'm not sure what the duty charges would be... Is coyote urine a hazardous material?


Tags: [Nuisance Chipmunks] [Wildlife Control] [Coyote Urine] [ACME Products] [ebay™]
[Wile E. Coyote] [Mange]


⁺⁺ This joke used without permission or credit. Unless acknowledging that it's not my joke counts as giving credit.

Bank on It

"Hello, is this Christine?" the caller asked at about 4:30 p.m. on Saturday.
"Yes," I replied. "Who am I speaking with?"

"This is Anna. I'm calling from BMO Bank of Montreal. I'm calling to notify you that BMO has suspended your debit card privileges. Our Security Division made the decision to freeze your debit card at 12:06 p.m. today."
"What are you talking about?" I pay for 99% of all my purchases using the debit card. I hadn't been out since 11:00 a.m.

"Sometime during the past 4-6 weeks you made a purchase at a business that is part of a criminal investigation," she explained. "That business is alleged to have recorded information from some consumers' debit cards. I am not authorized to disclose any information about the identity of the operation or persons involved.
"There does not appear to be any suspicious activity in your account since the transaction at that location. I can't be certain that your debit card information was obtained by the alleged criminals when you completed your purchase.
"Your card and account information has been compromised. As a precaution we have restricted your debit card."

I'll straighten it out at the Branch.

Three years ago, BMO's transaction security shut down John's card after they suspected the card data had been ripped. Three "unusual" transactions were completed at an "unusual" location which triggered a red-flag at the bank.

Two years ago, my credit card was cloned. The bank called us after their warning system detected activity that was "out of the ordinary". Within hours of the first fraudulent transaction, it was completely resolved.

We continue to receive outstanding service from BMO and its banking professionals.

Some may say that they're protecting their money, but I prefer to regard it as BMO taking care of their clients. Thanks, BMO.

Tags: [Bank of Montreal] [BMO]
[Debit Card Fraud] [Credit Card Fraud]

It's Not Rocket Science

On August 7, 2007 NASA will launch its 22^nd mission to the International Space Station.

Space Shuttle Endeavour was rolled out of assembly to the launchpad at the Kennedy Space Center in Florida this week. NASA celebrated the arrival of Endeavour and welcomed visitors to KSC with a banner in front of the launchpad exclaiming

The problem is that "the orbiter is named after HM Bark Endeavour, the ship commanded by 18th century explorer James Cook; the name also honored Endeavour, the Command Module of Apollo 15. This is why the name is spelled in the British English manner." Read Shuttle's Name Misspelled . Endeavour's mission is expected to last 11 days.

That florist's window sign that offers
'HELLIUM BALOON ARRANGEMENTS'
doesn't seem so bad now.

Another CL Life Lesson Proven True: PDPS (Public Displays of Poor Spelling) are embarrassing and should be avoided. Ask any NASA engineer or scientist how he feels about PDPS; I'm sure you'll find he agrees.

Related Reading: Sadly Mistaken

Tags: [NASA] [Kennedy Space Center]
[Endeavor] [Endeavour]
[International Space Station]

[James Cook] [Commander Scott J. Kelly]

[Canadian Space Agency] [Richard Mastracchio]
[Dave Williams]

Random Recommendation

I came upon a crew from Humane Wildlife Control Inc. while I was walking the dog. They were evicting squirrels from a home in the neighborhood.

The ad on the van indicated they offered control of raccoons, squirrels, bats, mice, skunks and birds. I asked the rep, who was at ground level, if they also offered service for chipmunk problems.

"No," he replied. "Coyotes control chipmunks. If you have a problem with chipmunks, you need a coyote. A fox might do it too." (I don't have a problem with chipmunks, I was asking for someone else who does.)

I checked out the triple extension ladder the crew used to get to the rooftop and it gave me an idea. "Would you be able to replace the downspout on my house?" I asked. We've needed this done since the fall. It was a job nobody wanted to do, so it was languishing on the To-Do List.

I explained that our extension ladder didn't stretch far enough for us to reach the eave where the downspout had disconnected.

Manny came to check it out. We had all the pieces of the downspout. We needed a screw to hold it together at the eave and some new strapping on the lower section. His son held the ladder and Manny reassembled the drain system and fastened it securely at the eave.

"Promise me that you'll replace the lower strapping today. If you wait, you'll end up with the same problem," he warned.
I promised it would be done.

He wouldn't even accept a cold drink for his trouble. He passed me a stack of fridge magnets to distribute and said, "If you have a problem with wildlife, make sure you call me."

Humane Wildlife Control Inc. offers service throughout Ontario and Quebec. If you have a problem with nuisance wildlife, call them.


Tags: [Wildlife Control] [SPCA]
[Humane Society] [Nuisance Wildlife]

Summer TV Going to Hell?

There was a time that the Summer TV Schedule was a wasteland - reruns and Harlequin movies. After the solstice, networks roll out more uninspired reality TV (Age of Love) and feed some fan's guilty pleasures (Big Brother 8) . Cable, understanding that no matter the weather, viewers will watch quality programming, air new episodes of hits like Entourage beginning in July.

Ever-mindful that American Idol debuted as summer filler and has become the most popular TV show in America, network execs continue the quest for the next breakout.
Don't Forget the Lyrics and Singing Bee , two Karaoke game shows hosted by Wayne Brady and Joey Fatone respectively, look like passing fancy...no endurance.

Here's one we're eating up. Andrew and I are setting the clock to watch Chef Gordon Ramsay berate the candidates on

	Twelve aspiring chefs are vying to become Head Chef at the Green Valley Ranch Resort in Las Vegas. Ramsay never says it, but if you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen, is an essential premise. It's compelling TV.

We occasionally watched episodes over the past 2 seasons of the show, but this season, we're hooked! The opening sequence promises viewers that "one contestant has had enough and takes on chef Ramsay"; cut to an ambulance pulling in; cut to a chef running out of the kitchen into the dining room; cut to Ramsay yelling, "You almost killed him!" Flash a shot of flames from a pan on the burner jumping to the ceiling. "He would've died!" Ramsay yells at one hopeful.

Chef Ramsay's not all huff and gruff, cuss and criticism. Instead of sending Melissa home in Episode 5, he moved her onto the Blue Team, offering her a second chance. He saw that she had adequate kitchen skills, but her dictatorial leadership style was an obstacle her team couldn't overcome. She was a weak link after switching teams and was sent packing in Episode 6.

Flipside Those Karaoke shows may generate a little more interest now that Korea Banned Karaoke Bars (Reuters, July 11, 2007) . North Korea's security agency has ordered all karaoke clubs to close because they represent a threat to society. From the Ministry directive, this measure is required: "to squarely confront those who threaten the maintenance of the socialist system."

Andrew and I are both pleased that Julia's in the final 6. In the early episodes, she was put down by others because she lacked fine-dining experience (before Hell's Kitchen, she worked in a pancake house). She won't make it to final cut, but Julia has a positive attitude, works hard for the team and is willing to learn.

We both pick Rock and Jen to be in the final two.

Hell's Kitchen -

Monday at 9:00 p.m.

Tags: [Hell's Kitchen] [Fox Broadcasting] [Citytv]
[Food Network] [Reality Television] [Chef Ramsay]
[Karaoke] [American Idol] [Big Brother]
[Wayne Brady] [Joey Fatone]

It's A Smaller World

Researchers at the University of Bonn used a system known as VLBI (Very Long Baseline Interferometry) to measure the earth. They have found the diameter of Earth is 5 mm smaller than the previous measurement estimates.

Scientifically, this is significant. One factor used to determine satellite launch and orbit positions is the diameter of the earth. With LiveEarth performances ready around the globe (July 7/07), there are some who will be quick to interpret the results of Dr. Axel Nothnagel's study as The World is Shrinking. In fact, the study doesn't report that the size of Earth has changed over time, but that the diameter of the planet is about 5 mm smaller than the original estimates.

I don't want to be one to say I told you so; but in fact, I already knew that the world was smaller than original estimates. Here's how:

It's a Small World
Four years ago, Jessica joined the Etobicoke Dolphins BB hockey team. A talented left-winger on that team was Kim Selke. Since joining the Dolphins, it has been our privilege to mix with Kim and her parents, Debby and Gary Selke.

Kim has 2 sisters who are accomplished equestrian riders. My niece, Shannon is a gifted equestrianist too. She no longer competes, but for several years, Shannon has worked as a groom at a barn north of Toronto. Besides her responsibilities at the home barn, Shannon transports the horses to shows and prepares them for competition. It's very hard work, but she does it because she loves horses. Shannon knows Leanne and Kathleen Selke from the shows. At these levels, the competitions are their own community.

It's a Little Bit Smaller
The school Jessica goes to is not in our city. Her program is available at just one secondary school in our district, which happens to be in a different city. During her freshman year, we discovered that Kim Selke has two cousins who attend the same high school as Jessica. Rebecca played on the school hockey team with Jessica; Maggie and Jess played together on the school soccer team.

This proves to me that it's not just a small world, but that Earth is smaller than we used to think. Thank you Dr. Nothnagel for providing the science to support our theory.



Tags: [University of Bonn] [LiveEarth]
[Measure Earth's Diameter] [NASA]
[It's A Small World] [Etobicoke Dolphins]
[Ontario Equestrian Federation] [Dr. Axel Nothnagel]

Hit Parade

Stratford, the Festival City, wrapped up its day-time events celebrating Canada's 140^th birthday with the annual parade, organized by the local Kinsmen Club.

The parade wound through Stratford's downtown, from Wellington to Downie, across Ontario to Huron. More than 40 groups participated in the parade that was led by the Veteran's Association and finished with the giant birthday cake float.

Three rows deep along the 2 km route, spectators waved and applauded as the more than 40 entries marched by. At the curb, in pint-size chairs and on blankets were young children. Parents, older children and youths made up the second row, on the boulevards and sidewalks. Other families and many seniors set up in front of the businesses and on the grassy knolls.

Way to go Stratford! There is so much support from all generations. It became clear that residents had "their spots" staked out from prior years. I wonder if, in twenty years, that spot in front of the church will still be Nicole's and Rachel's.

Thumbs up to Stratford, population 30,000 - Well planned and well-attended city-wide celebrations wrapped up with fireworks display at the rec. center.

Aurora, population 47,000, cancelled its Canada Day parade due to lack of support.

Some of the groups who participated in the parade:

Stratford Concert Band	Perth Pipe Band
Bethel Church	Stratford Builders' Association	Playmakers Theatre School
Perth Regiment Re-Enactment Unit	Orr Insurance (that's their truck, above)	Stratford Lions Club
Mocha Trumpet Band (London/Woodstock) and the RoadRunners	Dukes of Hazzard chased by Enos	Jubilee Christian Fellowship Band
Saddle Up Stables	Wellington-Waterloo Hunt & Riding Club	DaMax Kennels (thank you for the loot bag for Buddy)
Stratford Motor Products	Gary Stockie Chev-Olds

Red & White Sale on Now at

The Pro Shop

Tags: [Stratford] [Canada Day] [Aurora Cancels Parade]
[Stratford Country Club]

Lassie?

Just after I posted about the intelligence of different dog breeds, this story breaks:

Dog's Barking Leads To Rescue Of 2 Kayakers (Print Story)
	(Video Link)

Of course, the Hero was a Border Collie (#1 intelligent breed).

A dog is not 'almost human' and I know of no greater insult to the canine race than to describe it as such. -John Holmes

Tags: [Pets] [Heroic Animals/Pets] [Animal Planet]

Every Dog Has His Day

I Stumbled Upon The Top 10 Smartest Dog Breeds page at petmedsonline.com.

We rescued our dog from the shelter when he was a very young puppy. We named him Buddy Homer. He had been found in a rural area with his mother, a Beagle. Nobody was sure where his 5 brothers or sisters were. Just Buddy and his Mom. It's obvious that Buddy's father is a black Labrador.

The vet told us not to waste money on obedience training for him. We'd never win against a Beagle/Lab mixed breed. "It will only be a frustrating experience for you," he warned. "But the mix is great for families. You couldn't ask for a friendlier dog," he quickly added, like that would make up for the fact that he'd just told me that our newest family member wouldn't ever sit or stay.

Buddy has proven himself many times to be of above average intelligence. As a puppy, he used to slide the lever on his crate to open the door and let himself out. The first time we boarded him at the kennel, he lifted the latch and roamed the aisle driving all the other guests crazy. "You should have told us that he's a very smart dog," the proprietor chastised when we went to pick him up.

Other times, I'm positive his membership in Canine Mensa is going to be revoked. He has a neurotic fear of vacuums. He won't walk past the vacuum if it's parked in the hall. It doesn't have to be plugged in or running... the entire appliance scares him. He used to hide bones under the couch cushions and in the magazine rack, not in the yard. And that footwear fascination is pretty old now.

Labrador Retriever is listed as the 7^th-smartest breed of dog. I scrolled down to see where Beagle fit in. Beagle isn't in the top 10.

There's a link that will take me to the 10 least-intelligent breeds...and there it is. Coming in at #9 is the Beagle. Well, at least he wasn't sired by a Bloodhound (#6).

Maybe we should've gone with Homer for his first name, after all.

Tags: [Pets] [Obedience Training]
[Dog Breeds/Breeding] [Canine Psychotherapy]
[Homer Simpson] [Stumble Upon]