Colbert in ' 08

During his appearance on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert officially announced that he was officially announcing that he would officially consider making an official announcement about his candidacy for President of the United States.

Later, on The Colbert Report, Colbert confirmed that he would, in fact, enter the Primary in his home state of South Carolina as a Favorite Son. He will run as both a Republican and a Democrat candidate and floated the idea of sponsorship (advertising on his suits) in lieu of traditional fundraising.

Colbert's show parodies news broadcasting and political punditry. He has used the publicity tour for his book I Am America (And So Can You), to mock the process by which many candidates declare - Christopher Dodd (D) while a guest on Imus in the Morning; Rudy Giuliani (R) announced during a guest spot on Larry King Live; Mike Huckabee (R) on Meet the Press; Sen. John McCain (R) in New York on The Late Show with David Letterman, and Ron Paul (R) on C-SPAN.

It's been done before, a comedian running for U.S. President. Man of the Year (2006) starring Robin Williams as comedian Tom Dobbs. Wait, that wasn't real.

Colbert stated, "it will be a success for me if at the Republican or Democratic convention, someone stands up and says, 'The great state of South Carolina, home of the finest peaches, home of the finest shrimp, casts one delegate for Stephen Colbert.' "

Colbert surprised me...I figured he'd only run for President 30 minutes after Jon Stewart threw his own name into the ring (and Stewart's too smart to do that).


Tags:  [Stephen Colbert]   [2008 US Presidential Candidates]
[Jeff Greenfield]   [The Colbert Report]
[South Carolina Primary]   [Favorite Son of South Carolina]
[Jon Stewart]   [The Daily Show]   [Comedy Central]
[Robin Williams]   [Barry Levinson]

Carp Diem

I'll be able to sleep at night now.
A report from scientists at Stanford University School of Medicine concludes that fish may suffer from insomnia.

In order to understand sleep disorders, Emmanuel Mignot and his team were looking at how the brain regulates sleep, by studying zebrafish. They report that "some zebrafish have a mutant gene that disrupts their sleep patterns in a way similar to insomnia in humans."

I find it a little surprising that fish have any difficulty sleeping. Sounds from nature, like water and ocean tides, are recommended to create a relaxing atmosphere, reduce stress and induce sleep. Based on that, I would expect the research to find that most fish slept a lot.

Maybe the comforting sonances create a high incidence of Hypersomnolence.

Maybe it's not really an issue, since fish don't have to get up and work in the morning.

O Captain, my Captain.
Carpe Noctis.

Tags: [Zebra Fish]   [Sleep Disorders]   [Insomnia]
[Public Library of Science-Biology]
[Stanford School of Medicine]   [Emmanuel Mignot]
[Dead Poet's Society]   [Walt Whitman] [Carpe Diem]

Revenge on Mad Max

It's Sunday, around noon.

John puts the leash on Buddy and they set out for a long walk. Buddy's exercise and weight loss plan requires a 2 km walk each day. They walk 100 yards down to the path that runs behind the school. A woman and 3 children are walking with their dog toward John and Buddy.

John discovers that this dog's name is Max after Max pulls and breaks his leash. He runs, with teeth bared, at Buddy, jumps and starts attacking. Max's owner calls his name, but he doesn't stop.

Buddy doesn't like this new dog, Max. He tries to defend himself, but the surprise attack has put him at a disadvantage. Eventually Max is contained but not before he has removed a chunk of Buddy's ear.

We administer some first aid but can't stop the bleeding from the wound. Buddy's 2 km workout turns into a 10km drive to the Veterinary Emergency Hospital.

Once cleaned and inspected, a local anaesthetic is administered and the wound is stapled close. For the next 7 days, we need to keep him from scratching or rubbing his ears. He is fitted with an Elizabethan collar, that doesn't make him feel regal in the slightest.

Wearing the cone will prevent him from removing the staples; but it also prevents him from getting a drink, ducking under the table to get crumbs, squeezing between my legs and the cupboard.

He bumps into everything. He is afraid to go downstairs. He is afraid to go up to the landing where his bed is. Every time he bumps into something, the noise frightens him. It makes him jump, which makes him bump into something, which makes the loud, irritating noise that frightens him.

Sporting his piercings and sans collar, I took Buddy for a walk last night. Not too far, not strenuous. He was begging to go - maybe showing off his new Goth style (staples with his black toenails) would be good for his spirit. I studied all the other dogs on leashes looking for Max. Two times a dog got near and Buddy stopped and just laid down.

One meeting with Max has turned Buddy into '... a shell of a dog, a burnt out, desolate dog, a dog haunted by demons, a dog who wandered out into the wasteland. And it will be here, in this blighted place, that he learns to live again... (Taken from MadMax 2: The Road Warrior)



Once Buddy gets his spirit back, you'd better look out Max!

Photo of dog wearing Elizabethan collar from
The Fun Times Guide

Tags: [Dog Bites]   [First-Aid for Pets]
[Healing and Rejuvenation]   [Mad Max]

Do Not Create False Drive Thrus

A recent survey showed that more Americans can accurately list the ingredients in a Big Mac than recall the ten commandments.

In a study of 1000 people, 80% correctly identified the seven elements of the Big Mac; less than 60% remembered 'thou shalt not kill'. Read more...

The survey was completed at the request of the producers of the animated movie The Ten Commandments (Oct. 19).

Kelton Research also found that "survey participants had an easier time remembering the names of the six children on the old TV series 'The Brady Bunch.' "

Imagine how much more dismal the results might have been if Moses hadn't dropped a tablet, reducing the commandments from 15 to ten!

Tags: [Ten Commandments]   [Big Mac]   [Kelton Research]
[The Bible]   [McDonald's]
[Mel Brooks]   [History of the World Part II]

Honoring Mothers Defending Children

Motherhood is called a great surrender.

The mother surrenders control of her body to the child during her pregnancy. After the birth, mothers surrender to the unpredictability of their cherubs. We watch proudly as our little one achieves milestones and develops and displays her personality.

The great surrender doesn't mean resignation; good mothers recognize the perils of control and raise empowered children. Mothers protect and defend children. It teaches young ones how to protect and defend themselves.

All that to get to this: A Michigan mom faces aggravated assault charges after her daughter was involved in a fight at school.   Read more...

Loving your child unconditionally doesn't mean you beat down the security guard at her school! Our civilized society may have forgotten that defending the child doesn't mean absolving him of responsibility. Face it, your kid isn't always right.

Mom may choose to use this to illustrate that actions have consequences.

Tags: [Ottawa Hills High School]   [Grand Rapids, MI]   [School Safety]
[Mary Lee Brown]   [Mother]

Humanity's Wallet

As a child I would sometimes ask, "Mom, are we rich?"
"We're rich in love," my Mom would reply.

My friends used to tell me that my family was rich. It was curious that they could be so sure when I wasn't certain myself. These same friends also told me that our house was haunted. Since there were occasions when I could confidently say that it wasn't, it was difficult to know when to trust their authority.

It's not that we were poor. Our needs were always met. The only things we were 'in-want-of' were truly extras. None of us suffered because we shared a bike or a bedroom. Each of us was so creative, however, we put on some good displays of suffering!

As I grew up, I better understood the elements of being rich in love.

Loyalty is the hundred dollar bill. You flash a roll of loyalty around because it says "Mess with me, mess with my whole family". That's good news for the family, bad news for the mess-er.

Understanding and faith are the Ulysses S. Grant of this currency. For kids, these fifties are rare and harder to part with. As adults, we understand items with tremendous value can be found for $50. Knowledge and compassion are factors of this bill.

Since it's the only denomination stocked in an ATM, humor has to be the double-sawbuck. Check the wallet of humanity of any member of my family, and you'll find at least five crisp bills of humor, receipts for a withdrawal today and yesterday and the day before. It's fully accessible, as convenient as a debit card, accepted almost everywhere and can be used to get 'cash back' on purchases. Looks like our particular banking plan allows unlimited debit card transactions.

As adults, respect is like a $5 bill. It may be a little humble, but this smallest denomination of paper money makes one feel richer. It's versatile - it's enough for two coffees, or a Frappuccino, or a
Grande Mocha, or an entire Happy Meal. The point is, $5 can get you a little or be stretched to get a little more.
As kids, respect was more like a commemorative coin. We gave it and knew a sibling would keep it in a safe place and occasionally pull it out of his/her memory to recount the specifics of the day it was presented.

That we can measure our fortunes in a currency other than cash makes us very wealthy indeed.

[Qualities of Humanity] [Measure Your Wealth]

Quizno's Ad In Poor Taste

Have you seen Quizno's ad for the new Chicken Carbonara sandwich?
Click the sandwich poster to watch the 30-second spot.


It focuses on lunch in an office. A staffer declares that he has given up on eating as he rolls an I.V. pole closer to his desk. His colleague tells him that food deserves another chance. He offers the Chicken Carbonara sandwich as proof of a satisfying alimentary experience.

It's not that I'm offended by the commercial, exactly. I rely on intravenous nutrition and hydration because of severe gastroparesis and if I had to choose, I would choose food any day.

Every day.

Tags: [Quizno's]   [Chicken Carbonara Sandwich]   [Lunch]
[Gastroparesis]   [I.V. Nutrition (TPN)]

Student Takes Action Over Mark

UMass student Brian Marquis received an A-minus numerical grade in his Political Philosophy course. While reviewing the final grades, the TA chose to adjust the grades on the curve. Marquis' mark changed to a C.

Marquis "filed a 15-count lawsuit in US District Court in Springfield in January claiming the university violated his civil rights and contractual rights and intentionally inflicted "emotional distress."

Jeremy Cushing, TA in the course 'Problems in Social Thought', wrote in an email to Marquis " 'As I am entering grades, I consider whether or not they seem fair,. . . I thought your grade was a good reflection of your work.' "

I'll admit that I expected this story would focus on helicopter parents who sued a university over the grade their precious snowflake's assignment had received. Adjusting on the bell curve is not new. In the end, Marquis' A-minus grade was deemed to be average for the course.

The lawsuit was dismissed by a District Judge last week, but Marquis is considering an appeal. Whether he appeals or not, launching suit against the university is likely to have some effect on his application to law school.

In 1978, the University of Missouri was served with similar proceedings. The following is from the court decision: "University faculties must have the widest range of discretion in making judgments as to the academic performances of students and their entitlement to promotion or graduation."

Maybe Marquis should review his notes from Foundations and Fundamentals.

Tags: [Brian Marquis]   [Jeremy Cushing]   [Grading on the Curve]