Sacrilege

After 3 + years without eating, there is little I miss. I've adapted - gotten used to not eating. I don't feel hunger and that makes it a little easier.

I will confess that there is something I miss:

Now, here I am, on the verge of enjoying food again, and this: the Chocolate Manufacturers Association has a petition in front of the FDA to alter the definition of chocolate.

According to Bloomberg News correspondent Adam Satariano,

They want to make it without the required ingredients of cocoa butter and cocoa solids, using instead artificial sweeteners, milk substitutes, and vegetable fats such as hydrogenated and trans fats.

Thankfully, this has been brought out! Don't Mess With Our Chocolate is a website started by Guittard Chocolate. According to Guittard, the purpose of the site is " to provide information regarding how to get involved in saving the real chocolate that we all love and enjoy."

Concerned consumers from around the world can register their comments on the CMA application. The FDA has extended the comment period until June 25, 2007.

Life is like a box of chocolates - you never know what you're going to get. Looks like that might be more true than Forrest ever knew.

I'll go ahead and tag this post, but Technorati's been having some technical difficulties.

[Chocolate]
[Chocolate Manufacturers Association] [Bloomberg News]
[Forrest Gump] [Chocolate is Good For You]
[Guittard Chocolate] [Technorati]

Random on a Roll

Hey, Mother Hubbard!

Go check your cupboard

And take out the canned rattlesnake meat.

It'll give you salmonella.

(That's more toxic than rubella.)

Wouldn't you prefer to have a scotch, neat?

[Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes]   [Rattlesnake Meat]
[Salmonella]

Random At Work

Helicopter parents need to lower their landing gear!

This article,
from U.S.A. Today, states "As Generation Y enters the job force, parents of new hires are calling employers to negotiate salary and benefits, and some are even showing up at job fairs."

Parents are interfering to the degree that Hewlett-Packard has 'specially-trained recruiters' to deal with parents.

When I was in a position to hire staff, if faced with two equally-qualified candidates, I would offer the position to the one who completed his own application over one whose parent filled it out. I rarely had ads targeted to college graduates. The article refers to post-secondary grads and their parents.

To me, the distinction is clear: one applicant shows that she wants to work; the other shows that her parents want her to work.

If I was a helicopter parent myself, I'd give you the definition of the term. You need to go look it up yourself.

(By providing the link, I think I have a Limo to the Airport parenting style.)

[Helicopter Parent]   [Student Job Fairs]

Random At Random

Man's best friend can go online to find his own friends now.

Pet Palio, is a website geared to pet owners looking to find friends for their pet. Aaron Rodrigues, 17, from Auckland launched the site after he " 'contacted all the pet stores and they didn't have anybody to connect me with other pet owners. They told me to join clubs, which were offline, and it was such a hassle, I thought there has to be a better way to do this ...' "

Sure, Aaron, the better way to find a playmate for Lasie, your Bichon Frise, is to search online, rather than meet people and their pets in person. There's just nothing more fun than a virtual trip to the leash-free park!

Want to know how many playmates Lasie has found? So far, he's the only pet listed on the site from New Zealand, although the article declares him to be "taken".

[Pet Palio] [Online Dates] [Forums for Pet Owners]

Endless Imus

After major advertisers pulled out of his popular morning show, Imus in the Morning, MSNBC dropped its simulcast of Don Imus' WFAN show on April 11, 2007. The following day, CBS radio, owner of Sports Radio 66AM, cancelled his show altogether.

Over the next 4 days, the U.S. news was consumed with talk of The Don Imus Firing. Imus had already begun his N.J./N.Y. apology tour, but it was too late.

In the past year, we've heard about Mel Gibson's rant, Michael Richards' tirade, Isaiah Washington's repeated use of the f-word and now Imus.

Still, it seems we haven't learned. Take the case of the NYPD Sergeant who is alleged to have insulted his officers by referring to the three women as "hos", during roll call. The alleged incident is said to have occurred April 15^th.

And Pennsylvania's WSBG-FM Morning Man, Gary Smith, who turned Imus' tasteless insult to the Rutgers Women's Basketball Team into the daily Phrase that Pays. The station awarded prizes to 3 listeners on April 12^th who called in to claim prizes using the winning phrase.

Today, CBS Radio suspended (without pay) another morning show. WFNY-FM's Dog House on-air personalities J.V. & Elvis, twice aired what was described as "a racially charged prank call". Where was the producer on this one? Hard to believe not even one person on the crew ever said, What could possibly go wrong with this?

At least Mel and Michael went away. Isaiah would, if he ever stopped raising it. But Imus, Imus! It seems I can't escape Imus references.

My fear is that the Imus references will fade and the very next day, Sirius Satellite Radio will announce a show featuring [ta-da] DON IMUS!

[Don Imus] [CBS Radio] [J.V. & Elvis]
[Mel Gibson] [Michael Richards] [Isaiah Washington]
[Sirius Radio]

Breaking News

I'm on the leading edge. Ahead of the game. At the forefront of the news. By extension, so are you, fine readers.

The weekend paper featured information on measuring one's carbon footprint. It discussed offsetting industries. It referenced some of the same information sources I had noted in my earlier post on this topic. Coincidence, you say. Pshaw! Eerily, a particular online carbon calculator was described in one article as "watered-down"; exactly the way I had described it.

Over the past two weeks, measure your carbon shoe size has been among the most popular Google searches to lead a reader to my blog.

Google the phrase 'measure your carbon shoe size' and my post is the #1 result ! That's ahead of the Global Climate Change Research Explorer, a site that summarizes all research on climate change and global warming.

My post about the research on obesity and food addiction was published on this site three full weeks before the papers picked it up.

Stephen Colbert's new ice cream flavor - 10 days ahead of the game, and a month before he brought it to his show!

Luckily, I don't face the same editorial review processes of the print media. I can fill as many or as few paragraphs as I like. I don't intentionally fast-track stories, and I impose my own kind of censorship.

I am my own content editor. Two weeks ago, I chose not to publish a funny Google Maps error, because it just became too mainstream. Sure Google engineer, you swim across the ocean!

Context plays a role in my posts, but not nearly to the same degree as in the legitimate news world - I would never had gotten away with writing about pirated stem cells in the established media.

Want to stay current? Check out the Headline News section in the right side bar. Your choice of 3 news source headlines.

Want to be ahead? Keep reading my blog.


[Earth Day] [Stephen Colbert] [Stem Cell Research]

[Citizens' Media] [Breaking News] [Carbon Emissions]

Critical Condition

This looked less troubled before it got cut back. It had 20 branches then. At least it was a taller dead-looking plant.

Michelle said I should have cut it back sooner. "After all," she explained, "it can't be any fun for a plant that was thriving to now live its life as a stick."

It might be time to pull the plug.

Contrast: The plant that I stuck in the garage the day of the first snow and have completely ignored for months, is growing well. Maybe it's intercepting the positive thoughts I am sending the hibiscus.

The hibiscus in its prime




[Successful Gardening]

Auto-Complete Complication

The email program I use has an Auto-complete feature. Rather than entering someone's entire name or email address, I type the first couple letters and the program offers matches from my address book.

My address book is not exceptionally organized. Some entries are complete; some reference a first name only, some a last name only and still others indicate the email address as the first name. I have to admit that some people are in the address book twice. Maintaining my address book isn't something I set aside time to do.

Recently, I was sending an email to my siblings. I entered the first few letters of everyone's name in the 'To' box, wrote the note and pressed send.

A secondary verification window opened. Before the email could be delivered, I had to confirm some of the selected recipients. So, I chose from an assortment of Joe s that the program has selected. The email program had identified names similar to Lori, too. It allowed me to select from 3 Gloria s, 2 Lori s and 1 Cloris. I made my selection and the email left my desktop and was wirelessly carried across North America to reach the 5 selected recipients.

As it turned out, I hadn't read the second window carefully enough. I selected Gloria, instead of Lori. That might have been OK if I had selected the Gloria that was my Mom, but such was not the case.

I realized what I had done, so I jotted off a note to my friend Gloria explaining why she was being asked to weigh in on the topic, and still giving her an opportunity to voice her choice. Then I sent Lori, the right Lori, the original note.


I've faced much teasing since then. I've refreshed my Outlook skills via the Knowledge Base at the Microsoft® website on How to Send Email (someone was kind enough to send me the link), and reviewed The Dos and Don'ts of Email.

I'll subscribe to Jeffrey Steele's newsletter, if that what it'll take! But to give my vote completely to Gloria, just ain't fair! I suppose it won't be long until my spot at the dining room table is given to KQM, too.

Is it Acceptable to Replace Chris's Vote Completely?
	Yes, there is a consequence.
	No, we all make mistakes.
	It's Gloria's turn to paint the Gazebo.
View Results

Free poll from Free Website Polls

[Microsoft Outlook] [E-mail Tips]

Marley and Me

Recently, I drove several members of the RBHS Reach team to the Regional Finals in Hamilton, ON.

That's Reach, as in Reach for the Top. They just call it Reach, now. RBHS was undefeated in the season and was playing in the Golden Horseshoe Championship Division.

At the first match, I met Marley, Jason's grandmother. Jason is the captain of the Intermediate Reach Team. This was the first Reach tournament either Marley or I had attended. I made a joke about having the air horn in my purse; Marley said that was good since she brought a cow bell. Regardless of how the team did, it looked like Marley and I were going to have a great day.

Marley is an exceptional lady. She lost her husband to ALS three years ago. She regularly assists a friend whose 2 sons are autistic. "Autism is a troubling disease," she stated. She is a cancer survivor and now worries about her friend in the old neighborhood who is battling the terrible disease. "Another friend," she told me, "has a young daughter, not as young as you... Anyway, the daughter, she struggles with depression. Disease is so troubling," she says. She joked that she knows some healthy people, too. "At this age, that number is getting smaller," she remarked.

A little later, Marley declared, "Everybody has something which causes them pain or worry. What weighs on your mind, Chris?" she asked. I sketched out just enough to support the theory. I happen to subscribe to that same principle: we all have stuff we're dealing with.

Jason ran in just then and told us we were late for their last match of the round-robin. RBHS won that match and carried their undefeated record into the Championship game.

The team faced Blakelock in the Main Event. RBHS was well-back after the first two rounds. It was the first time all day they were behind. In the third round, the students launched a comeback and never looked back. Congratulations to Team Wild, Golden Horseshoe Reach Champions.

"My grandmother does this all the time," Jason apologized and rolled his eyes.

"Don't apologize," I told him. "I've had a wonderful day. It has been my pleasure to meet her."

[School Reach Competition] [Halton Region]

Google Gave Me a Giggle

A Google writer engineered a great practical joke for April Fool's Day. At Google Blogoscoped, he described a new tool developed by Google for bloggers.

It's called Google Writer. Not only does it promise to provide the blogger with links to relevant information about any topic, it also

suggests a title, some key quotes from other blogs and some interesting sites, images, and videos about the topic to facilitate your research. You can choose those that interests you and let Google Writer create some context around the quotes. Google Writer has a big database...and it's able to create grammatically-correct sentences. It also learns your writing style from the previous articles, it knows your favorite authors, sites and your interests.

What a great idea! Right now, I have 26 drafts sitting on my Editing Dashboard. That's just this site! I also maintain Road Trip which has a few drafts; and the blog that started it all for me: No Access to Health Treatment. That one only has a couple drafts on its dashboard.

I'll just feed GoogleWriter the main idea and it can guide me through the rest of the writing and editing. Those drafts will move into the Published realm in minutes! I especially love that Google Writer is capable of learning my writing style. Then readers won't be able to discern an original Chris-post from a Google/Chris collaboration. (Although, since it has taken me 30 years to develop my writing style, I'd naturally be disappointed that a computer program could pick it up quickly.) Another benefit is that, presumably, there'd always be fresh material - no more 12 day gaps in posts.

The whole idea reminds me of The Hook by Donald E. Westlake. Someone else does the work and you get all the credit. When I put it that way, it reminds me of many work environments too.

Here's what really amused me: some people were trying to sign up for the service. Some people are so desperate to find shortcuts or look for an easy way out, that they are looking for someone to write their posts for them. Is somebody really willing to let a computer program 'create some context' around a few keywords? Imagine the results!

Forget AdSense! I'll sell blog posts. Supply me with a few keywords and I can create some context for you. I think I can charge more today than I did in High School.

Fee Schedule

Word Count	Quality	Cost Untitled / Titled (USD)
<250	Mediocre	$150 / $175
251-450	Mediocre	175 / 200
<200	Clever	250 / 350
201-400	Clever	375 / 500
	Academic	Contact me for estimate

Terms: Deposit required on all requests for material. Deposits are non-refundable. Material must be accepted as delivered. All work guaranteed to be original,but not exclusive. Audience response may be different than expected. Material quality determined by the author. Other conditions may apply.


[April Fool's Day] [Google Writer] [Make Money Blogging]

[Donald E. Westlake] [Google Blogoscope]

Tuesdays

Tuesdays with Beth have come to an end. Beth is on contract with CCAC. I didn't see her every Tuesday, but when she came, it was always on a Tuesday.

"Let's review," she says. I didn't know there was going to be a test!

During the discussion, I offer this:
"When we met, I felt a responsibility to display a normal life for the comfort of others. Today, I have made it the responsibility of others to accept the different ways that my illness affects daily living. In essence, if my illness makes you uncomfortable, that's your problem, not mine."

We agree that taking responsibility and putting it back is a cycle. It is part of dealing with a chronic illness. This is not news to me. It just so happens that in November, I was at the 'taking responsibility' phase. She says that she'd like to take credit for offering something that returned me to the-responsibility-is-yours-phase, but doesn't think there is.

Near the end of the session, she wants to play a game of Finish This Sentence. I know what she's doing and it's obvious where this is going, but I play along until the last phrase in her game:

Life without challenge.....
Response: ...would be a very refreshing change.

She tells me that she has had fun, leaves me the titles of a couple books I might want to read then looks at the struggling hibiscus. "That gardening thing doesn't seem to be working out," she says. "Maybe you should reconsider knitting."

Noise Filter

John's been driving his newer car for over a week. I asked him if everything was OK with it. "Yeah. It's OK." He paused.
"It sounds like there's a but coming," I said. "Well, it's just that there's this noise. It's not all the time. It's there when I back out of the driveway. And then it's just intermittent. This sounds stupid, but the noise reminds me of a creaky spring. I don't know what it is," he finished.

Two years ago, I drove to meet John to switch cars. I got into his car, pulled out of the parking lot and heard a noise. A clunk and a screech. I took my foot off the accelerator to see if I could hear it again. BAM! The car stopped and dropped at the right front corner. "What the..." I got out to see what was up. The wheel had fallen off. I looked at the angle of the wheel to the ground and surmised a broken ball joint. There had been a noise in the car that he hadn't mentioned. He's improving.

When we went to the store later, John drove. He turned off the radio so we could listen for the noise. I heard it. It was coming from the right rear. It did sound like a spring. Hmmm. We listened some more. I missed it one time because I was relating this story:

There was a time that I was the Manager of Automotive Parts and Service at a retail outlet. A customer called me, concerned about a noise she was hearing after having front and rear brakes replaced the previous day. After the repairs were completed, she drove the vehicle home. Her husband then drove the car. She was driving it for the first time this day. The noise wasn't present yesterday. I asked her to describe the noise. When did she hear it? Did it ever change or go away? I invited her to come to the store so I could take it for a test drive with her. On the drive, I heard the noise too. It was an odd rattling sound. Not quite a rattle, and not a rumble. We drove to the next block. I leaned forward and touched the brakes. I heard it louder. I did it again but went harder on the pedal. I reached down, opened the ashtray and removed a golf ball. No more noise.

John pulled into the driveway and I heard that 'sproing' clear as a bell. "You know what that sounds like?" I asked as I got out of the car. "Yep, here's the noise," I said from the rear of the car, as I tightened the antenna.

No more noise.