Suburban Smash

We were driving into the parking lot at Mimico Arena. Jessica's team was playing the first game of the North Metro Playoff series against Uxbridge.

Our usual spot was taken, but a large Suburban was pulling out of the spot beside that space. We waited for him to leave, so we could park there.

"Cut the wheel. Cut the wheel," I coached from inside our vehicle.
"He's going to hit that van," Jess said.
As she finished the sentence, BAM, the Suburban rammed into a Pontiac Montana parked across the lane.

The driver of the truck pulled forward and prepared to pull out of the parking lot. He stopped when I waved him down.

"You just hit that van," I told him. The van had rocked considerably upon being struck. He had to know!
"Oh," he said. He put the shifter into reverse and added, "I guess I'd better check it out then."

The driver of the Suburban made a big display of checking the van out for damage. He stood back, like he was having trouble seeing the door. He shrugged. He walked from the front to the rear of the vehicle, all the while peering closely at the side panels. It was a terrible performance.

We went into the arena and asked people in the lobby if they owned the Montana. I asked the fans watching a game from the boards. I went up to the stands and asked. I interrupted the mini-stick game under the booth and asked the fans in the Home stands. Jackpot.

The owner of the van came out to the parking lot, to find the Suburban was gone. It was easy to see the dent, stretching about 4 feet along the sliding door and passenger door of the van. The owner of the van looked to see if some contact information had been left under the wiper blade. None. Back in the lobby, I gave Jim my contact information and the plate # of the truck.

Mr. Suburban-driver had been watching two teams of 9 and 10 year-old girls play a non-competitive house-league game at the arena. I hope he wasn't one of the coaches. Imagine this dressing room talk: 'OK, girls, we're here to have fun. So make sure when you're out there...if you do something wrong, like hit another player, well, just do your best to get away with it.'

Go to No Access to Health Treatment

Kicking Cancer II

My sister, Michelle has been diagnosed with breast cancer.

I'm sure she rehearsed her delivery before dialling my number to tell me. I knew that she had rehearsed how to open the discussion with her doc. Neither went the way she planned. I answered the phone, "Hello?"
"It's cancer," she said.
I did what any sister would do...made her laugh.

"This can't be happening. I can't have cancer," she said. And this time I responded with something incredibly profound. "No," she insisted. "I can't have cancer. I don't have enough boots. I only have one pair that is really spectacular." Read Giving Cancer the Boot

Luckily, Roni, a step ahead, provided a kick-ass care package that arrived at Michelle's door the next day.

Link to Michelle's Blog

In the News

USC hockey goalie hits bottom.

Full moon has no effect on outcome of game.




Rise of the Machine: New 12-Step Program

oops- that sound means that I have mail.

The Scoop

Ben and Jerry's has announced their newest flavor:

Seems to me, Marketing missed the boat. Shouldn't they have looked for a Colbert tie-in to a sherbert?

Over the past 8-months, Colbert has

• been rumored to host The Grammy Awards (he didn't) ;

  
  

• had a mascot named in his honor: Saginaw Spirit's Steagle Colbeagle of the Ontario Hockey League ;

  
  

• had a day named in his honor: Oshawa will celebrate Stephen Colbert Day on March 20, 2007 ;

  
  

• forced Wikipedia to shut down access to its entry about elephants, after Colbert suggested viewers of his show modify the information about the worldwide Elephant population, and

  
  

• coined the word 'truthiness' and seen it named Word of the Year (2006)
  

Colbert is said to be donating his earnings from the ice cream to The Americone Dream Fund, a newly-formed charitable foundation that will distribute money to as-yet-unnamed causes.

You know what happens when ice cream is over-exposed? It gets freezer burn and loses its flavor.

Tags:
Ice Cream/	Saginaw Spirit/	Stephen Colbert/	Ben & Jerry's

Note: The use of sherbert above is deliberate. Goes with Colbert.
Sherbet is the more widely-used term that describes a fruity frozen dessert similar to an ice. Sherbert is also accepted, as is sorbet.

Maximum Security

A brawl came at the end of a tight contest during the round-robin portion of the tournament. Technically, it wasn't a fight, since the players all had their helmets on (Rule 613 specifically addresses Fisticuffs). In my book, throwing punches makes it a fight. By either definition, I don't like it.

At the Civic Center, home of the Otters, security was called to the ice by game officials as the horn sounded to close the third period. The referees pulled players apart then met at center ice to confer over the new penalties that were about to be assessed. That was ironic since they had neglected to call many penalties during the previous 45 minutes of play. All the while, two security staff stood on the ice, each with his arms folded across his chest and looked around sternly.

The skating was hard, the shots many. As the game progressed, play intensified between our players and their GTA opponents. The score was even at 1 apiece. Emotions were high. With few infractions being called, the players stretched the limits further. They wanted to know how far they could go before the refs made the call.

Girls minor hockey allows contact, but does not allow body-checking. A check from behind went unpenalized late in the third period. That was the breaking point. The final minutes played out with a series of face-offs, hacks at the goalie, pushing and shoving and lots of yelling from one bench. Game officials don't have to tolerate it and finally assessed that coach a penalty for unsportsmanlike conduct.

Eventually, the teams were escorted to their dressing rooms. Security and the refs kept the teams apart. The fans were warned that "nuisance in the lobby will be dealt with seriously." The fans were in-check. There was that one fan who kept shouting a$$ho1e to either the refs or her coaches, we couldn't tell. She wasn't in the stands or the lobby, anyway.

The USA Hockey Referee Manual points out that the role of an on-ice official includes to provide a safe and sportsmanlike environment in which players can properly display their hockey skills. It adds, that referees must control games to the extent that is necessary to provide a positive and safe experience for all participants.

There's a time to let them play; and a time to use the whistle. The refs have to call the penalties before someone gets hurt.

Security stuck around until the players had changed into street clothes then cleared the tunnel so the team could make its way to the bus without further incident.

Read about Erie Tournament

Find Your Shoe Size

Remember how Time^® magazine named each of us Person of the Year for 2006? Maybe we shouldn't be too quick to accept that award, since we just found out that we are to blame for global warming.

I saw one headline that read Man to Blame for Climate Change. I wondered, can't we find out who this guy is and stop him? I didn't think it was me, (I wasn't even in Paris!) . The only way to eliminate me as a suspect was to measure my footprint.

I have big feet, but a relatively small carbon footprint. Measuring one's carbon footprint is an emerging industry in the U.K. A Carbon Coach arrives at a client's home and measures the client's personal CO₂ emissions. The coach also advises him on strategies and tips to reduce usage and emissions. The calculations are explained at How Green Are You?

My carbon footprint is 4357 kg. The U.K. national average is 6000 kg.
Interest in measuring one's carbon footprint has spawned Offsetting industries. Offsetters participate in activities aimed to replace the energy you use. The suggestion is that you donate to the offsetting group to atone for your usage. Dubious activities of some offsetters led to better regulations and standards in the offsetting industry within the U.K in 2006.

If you want to know how many trees must be planted to offset your personal CO₂ emissions, try the CO₂ Calculator provided by Tree Canada, a foundation partially funded by Natural Resources Canada.

So, 90% of the scientists agree that human behavior and greenhouse gases are accelerating global warming and affecting our climate...

Magazine cover photoshop-ped by Mr-Smartypants

What's your carbon shoe size?

*To convert m³ Natural Gas Usage to kilowatt hour:

Total m3 used	X 1.00264	X 39.25	÷ 3.6 = kwh used
	(temp./ pressure factor)	(colorific)

If you want to avoid digging up old bills and the math, go to BP Carbon Footprint. It's watered-down by comparison, but you'll know your CO₂ emissions quickly (in tons).

Follow up read: The Biggest Carbon Footprint

Read TPN and Global Warming

Tagged at Technorati -
[Global Warming] [Climate Change] [Carbon Footprint]