October 29, 2007

Redundant Conclusions of Texas Brief

The Texas State Library and Archives Commission's working group to analyze government reports has found, after an 18 month study, that Texas has too many reports.

The Commission's 668-page brief lists the unnecessary reports that are still prepared by staff even though there is no longer a need for the data. "Report 1473 calls upon the Department of Aging to prepare a report, although the Department of Aging no longer exists. There are still report requirements for the Human Rights Commission, which the Legislature abolished in 2003."

Records administrator Michael Heskett points to the trend toward transparency in government and more open administration to account for the duplication of information and the preparation of parallel write-ups in past history.

To save money and paper, the legislature and state agencies can't afford to postpone until later their cooperation together to ensure that each and every report prepared will be to the mutual benefit of both parties.

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October 27, 2007

Special News Update

We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming to bring you this news update:

Nichols Acquitted in DUI Manslaughter Trial  (link to story)   Nichols Acquitted in DUI manslaughter Trial  (link to story)

"In closing arguments, DeCarlis called Nichols a "decent guy in a bad situation." DeCarlis and Fuller contended that a "poorly maintained" road, a missing white line and a defective truck were responsible for the crash."

Nichols' attorney, William DeCarlis backed away from the original defense argument that gastroparesis was responsible for his client's BAC exceeding the legal limit after FDLE Forensic Toxicologist Ruth Vacha testified that 'If you were suffering from severe gastroparesis, you would be knocking on your doctor's door really quick.'
(Original story reported at Ocala.com )

In other news, Buddy's fine.
He barks at the letter carrier and the German Shepherd every day again. He thanks you all for keeping him in your thoughts. We haven't seen Max in the neighborhood since that fateful day.

We now return to our regular programming.

     
  

  

October 26, 2007

Happy Birthday to the World

Anglican Bishop James Ussher, "the author of the book frequently described as the greatest history book ever written", concluded the world was created Oct. 23, 4004 B.C. – making it exactly 6,010 years-old this week.

In the 1650's, Ussher wrote Annals of the World. "It's the history of the world from the Garden of Eden to the fall of Jerusalem in AD 70." The book integrates biblical history with secular chronicles. MasterBooks commissioned the updating of the material from the 18th century to present-day; and the translation from its original ancient Latin to English.

The basis for Ussher's date is that ancient civilizations began the calendar year at the harvest. He uses the first Sunday following autumnal equinox to start the year. Because the calendar has been manipulated over time, we now mark the autumnal equinox on September 21.

World, I'm sorry these birthday wishes come late. I suggest we mark your 6010th birthday the same as all the other years - we'll burn fossil fuels creating pollution that warms the earth and contributes to climate variability.

See your candles in this picture of the earth at night? Remember to make a wish before you blow them out.

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October 25, 2007

Dolphins Play For A Cure

The Etobicoke Dolphins Midget BB hockey team hosted the Brampton Canadettes at Centennial Park Arena on Saturday, October 20, 2007.

The Dolphins donned pink jerseys for the home game as part of the EDGHL's Breast Cancer Awareness Campaign. Gate fees and donations were collected and forwarded to The Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation.

dolphins in pink
Photo by John Krieger

The Dolphins were 4-1 victors in the gritty match, that included ejections for 2 Brampton players.

The Etobicoke Dolphins play in the North Central Division of the Lower Lakes Hockey League. Their record in the regular season improves to 2-0-1.

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October 22, 2007

BlogRush's Traffic Jam

In mid-September, John Reese, internet marketing wizard, released BlogRush. BlogRush is a cooperative syndication widget. It's over there, in the right sidebar. It offers 5 headlines from other blogs with posts on similar topics as mine.

The basic premise is simple. I install the widget and tell BlogRush the general category into which my blog posts fall (Philosophy? Health? Fashion?) Every time a page in my blog is viewed, BlogRush puts one of my post headlines into its rotation and promotes it on another blogger's site.

Each time a reader from Very Random clicks through a headline in the widget, I get a bonus syndication credit in the blogosphere, and the other blogger has added some traffic. BlogRush redeems the credit by adding another headline from my blog to their playlist. Since BlogRush is divided by topic categories, all traffic it generates should be relevant.

There's also an Amway-style slant with BlogRush. Let's say another blogger liked the idea and installed BlogRush on his blog via a link here. Whenever his blog was viewed, he would get a credit and I would get a credit, too. Once his reader clicks through a headline, we would each earn one bonus syndication credit. And so it goes. More referrals in my network means more displays for my headlines.

The best part? BlogRush does all the work. That's ideal for the way I use my blog. I don't have to solicit new friends, work around no-follows, consider flow states or field reports. According to those who have done the math, the algorithm used at BlogRush favors smaller sites.

I'm realistic about BlogRush. My site receives an average of 75 unique visitors (first-time visitor) each week. I'm fairly pleased with that - Very Random is not The Huffington Post!

In the first week, my headlines were displayed 167 times, and 5 new readers came via the widget. Three percent click-thru is considered average performance when it comes to CTRs. (If the reason I kept a blog was to increase click-thrus, I'd put the posts in the sidebar and the sidebar info in the main section!)

Less than 24 hours after the release of BlogRush, some Probloggers (people who make their living by blogging) went ballistic about it. "It's a pyramid scheme" some posts cried, followed by the "Ponzi", "Leaking Readers" and "Violates Terms of Service" camps. Writers with 10,000-plus daily visitors to their site were complaining about delays in getting displays! (How/Where would you look for blogs that might have your headline in the widget?)

Every new technology brings out the hackers, and BlogRush was no exception. Programmers were spoofing impressions on their blogs to amass credits; making the headline widget "invisible", and using it on splogs. Some users went so far as to create new blogs with no posts and kept reloading the page to build syndication credits. I manually blocked some adult content sites from my widget. (I don't want to get a "Not Safe For Work" label!)

So BlogRush became more like blog-stall and moved to a full manual review of its members' blogs. In a broadcast email, John Reese explained that "If a blog does not meet our guidelines and criteria, IT WILL BE REJECTED from the network and not allowed to join ...They will have no access to any BlogRush services...BlogRush needs to only have members that have quality blog content."

There's no information on the criteria they'll use to assess "quality". I've been kicked out of places, sure, but never because I failed to meet quality standards. That would be quite a blow.


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Incidentally, I get Stumble-d-Upon about 60 times per month.

BlogRush Goes to Green

I'd forgotten about BlogRush.

Today, I received this email from John Reese, internet entrepreneur extraordinaire:

Congratulations!
You are receiving this update because your blog has passed our strict
Quality Guidelines and criteria -- we believe you have a high-quality
blog and we are happy you're a member of our network!
Now that I'm in, I went back to check on my stats.

      Your Traffic Today: 54 unique visits
      Your Traffic Last 7 Days: 284


Right now, that's the only data on the BlogRush stats panel, but I can check my referrals through a different analytic tool. I've recorded 8 visits via the BlogRush widget promoting my headline on some other blogs over the past week. I could probably find out the stats since BlogRush launched, but it's not relevant to me. Bottom line: I forgot all about BlogRush, and I still have around 3% CTR.

A month into BlogRush's launch and John Reese's team is still sorting out bugs in the reporting and impression system. Some Probloggers continue to warn their proteges against using the widget, saying it's a bad idea to let your readers discover other blogs.

I don't want to be that protective of my readers.
There are niche blogs, with their pillar posts and corridors of authority; and there's Very Random, a cubbyhole with a hook where I can hang my hat.


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October 21, 2007

Gastroparesis Defense Against DUI

In 2004, William Nichols Jr. of Ocala, Florida, was charged with 2 counts each of DUI-manslaughter and vehicular manslaughter. He lost control of his truck and crashed into a Tempo being driven by Holly Cummings. Holly's mother, Nancy, was a passenger in the car. Both were killed in the crash.

Jury selection and opening statements in his trial were conducted last week.

Nichols' blood alcohol content was found to be 0.103 and 0.104, two-and one-half hours after the crash. The legal limit is 0.08. "The defense is not disputing the alcohol results at trial. Instead, they plan to offer a medical explanation about the high alcohol content. The defense says Nichols may have had a gastroesophageal condition which caused the alcohol to sit in his stomach and not metabolize."
The 7-person defense team, led by William DeCarlis, will argue that Nichols suffers from gastroparesis; slow gastric emptying caused him to have alcohol in his system more than 6 hours after he'd consumed the alcohol.

If Nichols had been charged based on a Breathalyzer test, it's reasonable that the BrAC was influenced by alcohol remaining undigested in his stomach. Diffusion rates, the rate at which liquid is absorbed into the blood through the stomach membrane wall, are usually slower in people with gastroparesis. Gastroparesis creates reflux, which might increase the alcohol eliminated in Nichols' breath.

But, Nichols was not arrested at the scene or even administered a Breathalyzer. He was picked up later, after the Florida Department of Law Enforcement had the BAC results from samples of Nichols' blood. The specimen was collected more than 2 hours after the accident (over 8 hours since he'd had his last drink).

It is estimated that from 0.5% - 2% of ingested alcohol is not metabolized and enters the bloodstream through diffusion. "Alcohol is removed from the bloodstream by a combination of metabolism, excretion, and evaporation." Alcohol is slow to metabolize. Ninety to 98% of alcohol is metabolized (removed from the blood) by the liver.

Questions:
- How does his claim that the alcohol was retained in his stomach because of gastroparesis account for alcohol being found in his blood?
- Does it make a difference how that level of alcohol got into his blood (i.e., via diffusion or normal digestion)?
- Is he claiming that he's not responsible for his impairment, but his disease is?
- Is it OK to drive with BAC over the legal limit, because you have a disease? Alcoholism is also a disease, but is it a defense against DUI charges?

Nichols faces up to 15 years in prison on each charge, if convicted.

A Patient Story: Living with Gastroparesis

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October 19, 2007

Philadelphia - The Ugly Duckling

Travel and Leisure Magazine has completed its survey to rate 25 major U.S. cities based on various criteria including citizen attractiveness.

"According to 60,000 respondents to the magazine's online survey, Philadelphians are slightly more repulsive than Washingtonians (24), Dallasites (23) and San Antonions (22) but way uglier than Miamians (1), San Diegoans (2) and Charlestonians (3)." Read Hey! We're Not Just Fat - We're Ugly, Too

Philadelphia City Councilman Frank DiCicco had this to say about Miami: " 'Most people are walking around in thongs so everybody looks good there. But who can tell who lives there and who's just visiting? We have cold weather here so we're walking around for months with our noses running and our cheeks red and fur caps on our heads. How can you see what we look like under all that clothing?' "

Resident Fred Glick suggested that an editorial bias against brunettes and redheads figured in Philadelphia's low rating. "I hope we're closer to the top of the list for brains. It's more important," he told Dan Geringer of PhillyNews.

Philadelphia was ranked 14/25 when it came to intelligence. Miami came in at 23.

It's OK, Philly. You're the City of Brotherly Love and you've got a good personality.

None of us is as smart as all of us - Phil Condit
Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose - Robin Williams


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Woman Fired Because She Has Cancer

The Employment Opportunity Commission has accepted the case of Angie Arttus, a woman in Sparta Wisconsin, who says "she was fired because she has breast cancer." Read the article...

Arttus's claim states that a Human Resources manager at Dura-Tech Industries asked her to resign from her job as shipping clerk, which she has held for 4 months, because it "would look better on her resume than if she was terminated".

The EEOC will investigate the complaint.

Lesson: The Human Resources department serves the needs of the company, not the employees.
Lesson: Breast Cancer Awareness Month creates awareness, not understanding (or sensitivity).
Lesson: There is no "I have cancer" in TEAM

Aside: The Etobicoke Dolphins Midget BB team Raises Money for Breast Cancer Research this Saturday when they host the Brampton Canadettes at Centennial Arena. The puck drops at 7:00 p.m.

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October 17, 2007

Colbert in ' 08

During his appearance on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert officially announced that he was officially announcing that he would officially consider making an official announcement about his candidacy for President of the United States.

Later, on The Colbert Report, Colbert confirmed that he would, in fact, enter the Primary in his home state of South Carolina as a Favorite Son. He will run as both a Republican and a Democrat candidate and floated the idea of sponsorship (advertising on his suits) in lieu of traditional fundraising.

Colbert's show parodies news broadcasting and political punditry. He has used the publicity tour for his book I Am America (And So Can You), to mock the process by which many candidates declare - Christopher Dodd (D) while a guest on Imus in the Morning; Rudy Giuliani (R) announced during a guest spot on Larry King Live; Mike Huckabee (R) on Meet the Press; Sen. John McCain (R) in New York on The Late Show with David Letterman, and Ron Paul (R) on C-SPAN.

It's been done before, a comedian running for U.S. President. Man of the Year (2006) starring Robin Williams as comedian Tom Dobbs. Wait, that wasn't real.

Colbert stated, "it will be a success for me if at the Republican or Democratic convention, someone stands up and says, 'The great state of South Carolina, home of the finest peaches, home of the finest shrimp, casts one delegate for Stephen Colbert.' "

Colbert surprised me...I figured he'd only run for President 30 minutes after Jon Stewart threw his own name into the ring (and Stewart's too smart to do that).


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October 16, 2007

Carp Diem

I'll be able to sleep at night now.
A report from scientists at Stanford University School of Medicine concludes that fish may suffer from insomnia.

In order to understand sleep disorders, Emmanuel Mignot and his team were looking at how the brain regulates sleep, by studying zebrafish. They report that "some zebrafish have a mutant gene that disrupts their sleep patterns in a way similar to insomnia in humans."

I find it a little surprising that fish have any difficulty sleeping. Sounds from nature, like water and ocean tides, are recommended to create a relaxing atmosphere, reduce stress and induce sleep. Based on that, I would expect the research to find that most fish slept a lot.

Maybe the comforting sonances create a high incidence of Hypersomnolence.

Maybe it's not really an issue, since fish don't have to get up and work in the morning.

O Captain, my Captain.
Carpe Noctis.

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October 15, 2007

Revenge on Mad Max

It's Sunday, around noon.

John puts the leash on Buddy and they set out for a long walk. Buddy's exercise and weight loss plan requires a 2 km walk each day. They walk 100 yards down to the path that runs behind the school. A woman and 3 children are walking with their dog toward John and Buddy.

John discovers that this dog's name is Max after Max pulls and breaks his leash. He runs, with teeth bared, at Buddy, jumps and starts attacking. Max's owner calls his name, but he doesn't stop.

Buddy doesn't like this new dog, Max. He tries to defend himself, but the surprise attack has put him at a disadvantage. Eventually Max is contained but not before he has removed a chunk of Buddy's ear.

We administer some first aid but can't stop the bleeding from the wound. Buddy's 2 km workout turns into a 10km drive to the Veterinary Emergency Hospital.

Once cleaned and inspected, a local anaesthetic is administered and the wound is stapled close. For the next 7 days, we need to keep him from scratching or rubbing his ears. He is fitted with an Elizabethan collar, that doesn't make him feel regal in the slightest.

Wearing the cone will prevent him from removing the staples; but it also prevents him from getting a drink, ducking under the table to get crumbs, squeezing between my legs and the cupboard.

He bumps into everything. He is afraid to go downstairs. He is afraid to go up to the landing where his bed is. Every time he bumps into something, the noise frightens him. It makes him jump, which makes him bump into something, which makes the loud, irritating noise that frightens him.

Sporting his piercings and sans collar, I took Buddy for a walk last night. Not too far, not strenuous. He was begging to go - maybe showing off his new Goth style (staples with his black toenails) would be good for his spirit. I studied all the other dogs on leashes looking for Max. Two times a dog got near and Buddy stopped and just laid down.

One meeting with Max has turned Buddy into '... a shell of a dog, a burnt out, desolate dog, a dog haunted by demons, a dog who wandered out into the wasteland. And it will be here, in this blighted place, that he learns to live again... (Taken from MadMax 2: The Road Warrior)



Once Buddy gets his spirit back, you'd better look out Max!

Photo of dog wearing Elizabethan collar from
The Fun Times Guide

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October 11, 2007

Do Not Create False Drive Thrus

A recent survey showed that more Americans can accurately list the ingredients in a Big Mac than recall the ten commandments.

In a study of 1000 people, 80% correctly identified the seven elements of the Big Mac; less than 60% remembered 'thou shalt not kill'. Read more...

The survey was completed at the request of the producers of the animated movie The Ten Commandments (Oct. 19).

Kelton Research also found that "survey participants had an easier time remembering the names of the six children on the old TV series 'The Brady Bunch.' "

Imagine how much more dismal the results might have been if Moses hadn't dropped a tablet, reducing the commandments from 15 to ten!


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October 10, 2007

Honoring Mothers Defending Children

Motherhood is called a great surrender.

The mother surrenders control of her body to the child during her pregnancy. After the birth, mothers surrender to the unpredictability of their cherubs. We watch proudly as our little one achieves milestones and develops and displays her personality.

The great surrender doesn't mean resignation; good mothers recognize the perils of control and raise empowered children. Mothers protect and defend children. It teaches young ones how to protect and defend themselves.

All that to get to this: A Michigan mom faces aggravated assault charges after her daughter was involved in a fight at school.   Read more...

Loving your child unconditionally doesn't mean you beat down the security guard at her school! Our civilized society may have forgotten that defending the child doesn't mean absolving him of responsibility. Face it, your kid isn't always right.

Mom may choose to use this to illustrate that actions have consequences.

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October 09, 2007

Humanity's Wallet

As a child I would sometimes ask, "Mom, are we rich?"
"We're rich in love," my Mom would reply.

My friends used to tell me that my family was rich. It was curious that they could be so sure when I wasn't certain myself. These same friends also told me that our house was haunted. Since there were occasions when I could confidently say that it wasn't, it was difficult to know when to trust their authority.

It's not that we were poor. Our needs were always met. The only things we were 'in-want-of' were truly extras. None of us suffered because we shared a bike or a bedroom. Each of us was so creative, however, we put on some good displays of suffering!

As I grew up, I better understood the elements of being rich in love.

Loyalty is the hundred dollar bill. You flash a roll of loyalty around because it says "Mess with me, mess with my whole family". That's good news for the family, bad news for the mess-er.

Understanding and faith are the Ulysses S. Grant of this currency. For kids, these fifties are rare and harder to part with. As adults, we understand items with tremendous value can be found for $50. Knowledge and compassion are factors of this bill.

Since it's the only denomination stocked in an ATM, humor has to be the double-sawbuck. Check the wallet of humanity of any member of my family, and you'll find at least five crisp bills of humor, receipts for a withdrawal today and yesterday and the day before. It's fully accessible, as convenient as a debit card, accepted almost everywhere and can be used to get 'cash back' on purchases. Looks like our particular banking plan allows unlimited debit card transactions.

As adults, respect is like a $5 bill. It may be a little humble, but this smallest denomination of paper money makes one feel richer. It's versatile - it's enough for two coffees, or a Frappuccino, or a
Grande Mocha, or an entire Happy Meal. The point is, $5 can get you a little or be stretched to get a little more.
As kids, respect was more like a commemorative coin. We gave it and knew a sibling would keep it in a safe place and occasionally pull it out of his/her memory to recount the specifics of the day it was presented.

That we can measure our fortunes in a currency other than cash makes us very wealthy indeed.

October 06, 2007

Quizno's Ad In Poor Taste

Have you seen Quizno's ad for the new Chicken Carbonara sandwich?
Click the sandwich poster to watch the 30-second spot.


It focuses on lunch in an office. A staffer declares that he has given up on eating as he rolls an I.V. pole closer to his desk. His colleague tells him that food deserves another chance. He offers the Chicken Carbonara sandwich as proof of a satisfying alimentary experience.

It's not that I'm offended by the commercial, exactly. I rely on intravenous nutrition and hydration because of severe gastroparesis and if I had to choose, I would choose food any day.

Every day.

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October 04, 2007

Student Takes Action Over Mark

UMass student Brian Marquis received an A-minus numerical grade in his Political Philosophy course. While reviewing the final grades, the TA chose to adjust the grades on the curve. Marquis' mark changed to a C.

Marquis "filed a 15-count lawsuit in US District Court in Springfield in January claiming the university violated his civil rights and contractual rights and intentionally inflicted "emotional distress."

Jeremy Cushing, TA in the course 'Problems in Social Thought', wrote in an email to Marquis " 'As I am entering grades, I consider whether or not they seem fair,. . . I thought your grade was a good reflection of your work.' "

I'll admit that I expected this story would focus on helicopter parents who sued a university over the grade their precious snowflake's assignment had received. Adjusting on the bell curve is not new. In the end, Marquis' A-minus grade was deemed to be average for the course.

The lawsuit was dismissed by a District Judge last week, but Marquis is considering an appeal. Whether he appeals or not, launching suit against the university is likely to have some effect on his application to law school.

In 1978, the University of Missouri was served with similar proceedings. The following is from the court decision: "University faculties must have the widest range of discretion in making judgments as to the academic performances of students and their entitlement to promotion or graduation."

Maybe Marquis should review his notes from Foundations and Fundamentals.

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